Stay or Leave by Dave Matthews Band

Maybe different, but remember
Winters warm there you and I,
Kissing whiskey by the fire
With the snow outside
And when the summer comes
The river swims at midnight
Shiver cold
Touch the bottom, you and I,
with muddy toes

Stay or leave
I want you not to go
But you should
IT WAS GOOD AS GOOD GOES
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
But you did

Wake up naked drinking coffee,
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing us...
It was good good love.
You used to laugh under the covers
Maybe not so often now
But the way I used to laugh with you
Was loud and hard

Stay or leave
I want you not to go
But you should
It was good as good goes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
But you did

So what to do
With the rest of today's afternoons, hey
Isn't it strange how we change
Everything we did

DID I DO ALL THAT I SHOULD
THAT I COULD'A DONE?

Remember we used to dance
And everyone wanted to be
You and me
I want to be too
What day is this
Besides the day you left me?
What day is this
Besides the day you went?

So what to do
With the rest of the day's afternoons, hey
Well isn't it strange how we change
Everything we did
DID I DO ALL THAT I COULD?

Remember we used to dance
And everyone wanted to be you and me
I want to be too
What day is this?
Besides the day you left me
What day is this?






You see, no matter how 'over' someone you are, Christmas has that ability to make you miss everyone more, even those that are enjoying the season with new people in their lives. Maybe it's the cold, maybe it's the Christmas commercials, or maybe it's the thousands of miles distance. Whatever it is, it's a time to look back on what was Christmas Day last year, and what IS Christmas Day this year.

Still wishing you your fairy tale ending,

On to better things...

So lately I've lived off of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, occasionally "dining out" with the help of the dollar menu. I've had little to no money in my pocket, my clothes are limited as it's getting colder and colder, food had disappeared, and just in general I was beginning to resemble the American economy personified.

But then last week I got a job at a spiffy fine dining regional Italian restaurant. I'm working like 50 hours a week, plus any shifts I pick up for other people. I get free food and wine.

The staff is super nice and around my age. The restaurant is a well-known, fine dining establishment with a dining room for about 60 people upstairs, a full service bar, and a basement wine cellar and party room that can hold an additional 15-20 person dinner party. According to NYMag, the price range is a '$$$' [expensive] on a $ to $$$$ scale. So tips can be very nice. The management is new, professional, but very easy going.

I'm building a resume, meeting new people, making money, becoming more grounded, learning Italian, learning Italian wines, learning Italian cuisine, being fed for free, AND I got a $300 check in the mail yesterday for being a SAG background character.



That's all! :)
Oh. And I love the Scissor Sisters, U2, and Phil Collins right now.

Solitary Man

Sweet!!

Yesterday I was in Solitary Man, with Michael Douglas, playing a college hipster. We basically smoked hookah all day, lol,

Now that I'm back and able to get parts again, I need to figure out how to get better representation so I can get auditions for the bigger parts. I hear they're already planning the new Twilight movie, 'New Moon', and I've always wanted to be in a vampire flick. :)

Until next time!!

A Change of Heart

I just had a spiritual revelation of sorts. I was reading an old
friend's Facebook note about the word 'tolerance' in relation to
Christianity, and it all sort of clicked. A lot of the answers I've
been looking for, signs for change, a nudge in the right direction.

The difference between "unconditional love" and "love with tolerance"
is the difference of my happiness to my current struggles. With the
complications of the Bible and the hypocrisy of the church, I have
changed my theological views to a more minimalistic nature - God is
Love. In this way I can dissociate myself from the Christian
stereotypes I don't like, but I can still love God and love Love and
love others without any limits or boundaries. But I've been loving in
err. That is a love of tolerance. A misunderstanding of what
unconditional Love is.

Jesus preached a true Love. He hated sin, but loved the sinners.
Elementary, I know, but this is gold to me right now, so leave me be.
:)

Jesus' revolutionary Love, what was amazing then and manages to
withstand the test of time, is that he walked an impossible balance of
Love and hate. He ripped God's children from their sin and clearly
stated which he loved and which he hated as if the two were strangers.
THAT is unconditional love: being able to tear each person from what
they DO, recognize them as a child of God, and love them.

The past few years I have loved with tolerance; even to the point of
encouraging friends to do this or that, because it "isn't that bad"
and I will love them regardless. That was my old understanding of
unconditional love. That is how I separated myself from Christians AND
sinners. I was asked on a daily basis "God or the world?" in which
case I defiantly answered "other", being left with nothing.

I can't even begin to describe the joy presently welling up in my eyes
for the chance to be asked again today, and for the privilege to
change my answer.



Credits [in order of appearance today]:

God
Won't Stop by OneRepublic
"tolerance?" Facebook note by Courtney Cox
30 minute phone call to Mom

Quick update:

My laptop is dead. I sent it in yesterday, so I'll have another week of borrowing the roomie's laptop.

I'm getting fun and random credits from IMDB and Wikipedia for my role as Robert Mapplethorpe in Ang Lee's "Taking Woodstock". It's exciting to be involved in one of his films, much less to have a part in the buzz that's going on online about it.

I was able to work on "Bored to Death" with Ted Dansen, also. I'm excited about working on "Gossip Girl" and "Ugly Betty" in the next couple of weeks, but I'm submitting myself to the local soaps as well - "As The World Turns", "Guiding Light", "One Life to Live", and "All My Children" will all be hearing from me!

I shot with Steve Reganato last week and it was a total blast!! I should be getting the CD in the next day or two and I'll add those photos up ASAP. I'm shooting with an upcoming female model this weekend, Christi Duncan, and then later next week, my new friend Daniel P. who mysteriously will remain as Daniel P.

And I'm craving Applebee's.

That's about it for my update! :) Be back soon.

I just want to say...

... that there were some drop dead gorgeous women at the filming tonight. I just can't stop thinking about them. Wow. So what it was a 11 hour day, from 4 PM to 3:30 AM and I'm just getting home?

I got to meet them. And I see them on Monday.

[drools]

I'm jus' sayin'.

The List Goes On...

- Make my kids laugh so hard they pee their pants
- Save someone's life
- Remind my wife how much I love her with something romantically insane once a week
- Vandalize a public wall with beautiful artwork [see "Banksy"]
- Preach a little "time for change" at a church
- Travel to Italy and learn Italian
- Be a celebrity's secret side dish
- Make woopie with my wife in a public place
- Be famous*
- Start an annual Woodstock of sorts for a charity
- Die an old, silly man who tells the best stories and is always full of shinannigans

* I hope to be famous for acting and modeling, not for being on COPS because I was caught making woopie with my wife in a public place.