A Change of Heart

I just had a spiritual revelation of sorts. I was reading an old
friend's Facebook note about the word 'tolerance' in relation to
Christianity, and it all sort of clicked. A lot of the answers I've
been looking for, signs for change, a nudge in the right direction.

The difference between "unconditional love" and "love with tolerance"
is the difference of my happiness to my current struggles. With the
complications of the Bible and the hypocrisy of the church, I have
changed my theological views to a more minimalistic nature - God is
Love. In this way I can dissociate myself from the Christian
stereotypes I don't like, but I can still love God and love Love and
love others without any limits or boundaries. But I've been loving in
err. That is a love of tolerance. A misunderstanding of what
unconditional Love is.

Jesus preached a true Love. He hated sin, but loved the sinners.
Elementary, I know, but this is gold to me right now, so leave me be.
:)

Jesus' revolutionary Love, what was amazing then and manages to
withstand the test of time, is that he walked an impossible balance of
Love and hate. He ripped God's children from their sin and clearly
stated which he loved and which he hated as if the two were strangers.
THAT is unconditional love: being able to tear each person from what
they DO, recognize them as a child of God, and love them.

The past few years I have loved with tolerance; even to the point of
encouraging friends to do this or that, because it "isn't that bad"
and I will love them regardless. That was my old understanding of
unconditional love. That is how I separated myself from Christians AND
sinners. I was asked on a daily basis "God or the world?" in which
case I defiantly answered "other", being left with nothing.

I can't even begin to describe the joy presently welling up in my eyes
for the chance to be asked again today, and for the privilege to
change my answer.



Credits [in order of appearance today]:

God
Won't Stop by OneRepublic
"tolerance?" Facebook note by Courtney Cox
30 minute phone call to Mom

Quick update:

My laptop is dead. I sent it in yesterday, so I'll have another week of borrowing the roomie's laptop.

I'm getting fun and random credits from IMDB and Wikipedia for my role as Robert Mapplethorpe in Ang Lee's "Taking Woodstock". It's exciting to be involved in one of his films, much less to have a part in the buzz that's going on online about it.

I was able to work on "Bored to Death" with Ted Dansen, also. I'm excited about working on "Gossip Girl" and "Ugly Betty" in the next couple of weeks, but I'm submitting myself to the local soaps as well - "As The World Turns", "Guiding Light", "One Life to Live", and "All My Children" will all be hearing from me!

I shot with Steve Reganato last week and it was a total blast!! I should be getting the CD in the next day or two and I'll add those photos up ASAP. I'm shooting with an upcoming female model this weekend, Christi Duncan, and then later next week, my new friend Daniel P. who mysteriously will remain as Daniel P.

And I'm craving Applebee's.

That's about it for my update! :) Be back soon.